We started this process back in Aug 2009 (not even a year ago) with our home study. Then we started choosing adoption agencies, of which we chose many, and through a network of 2 wonderful agencies in FL who communicate for the needs of their babies to find homes fast, we received an email from Embraced by Grace on Friday May 21st about a baby boy who was born with Down Syndrome on May 20th that needed a home ASAP. The email was forwarded from the agency Heart of Adoptions where we were already in the process to fight for another baby boy. After reading the email I felt a tug for this baby and called Jefferson to ask if he would ever consider adopting a baby with Down Syndrome. His response surprised me a little to be honest. He unwaveringly said "Oh of course! Absolutely." For the past 2 months (April and May) we are pursuing the adoption of a baby who had a mentally ill mother and a father in prison. $7,000 & many court hearings later, on Tues May 25th it was clear to our lawyer that we could not pursue a fight that would end up in litigation for possibly a year or more.
Ironically, in that same conversation with the lawyer, Jeanne Tate (the owner of Heart of Adoptions) asked if we would consider this same baby boy with Down Syndrome! I said "Absolutely!" She said we needed to send her our profile immediately because the birth parents would be choosing a family that same day! Apparently, there was an adoptive family who was matched up with this baby for the past 6 months during the pregnancy, but after finding out he had DS, they opted out of the commitment. We are so thrilled they did!!!!
I hurried and emailed our profile to her, but heard nothing for 2 days. I was substitute teaching on Thursday May 27th and by lunch time I couldn't take the waiting anymore. I was sure they must have chosen another family by now, but I was wrong. In fact, when I called the agency, Annsley, our social worker, said "Did you get my email today?" No I didn't because I was at work all day! The birth parents chose us!!!! I couldn't believe it. She said "They think you guys are too good to be true so the birth mom wants to talk to you over the phone." Ok, no problem. We planned a conference call for later that day at 4pm. I called Jefferson immediately as I headed back into the school, and he couldn't believe it either. I told him this was a gift from God for his Birthday (coming up that weekend on May 31st). I headed back into class, was breathing heavily in disbelief, texting our close friends and family, and received a text form Jefferson saying that he hadn't been able to stop crying since we got off the phone, he was overjoyed.
I told the next 3 classes of Junior Highers about what was happening. They were so excited because they had just completed researching genetic disorders like Down Syndrome!! As I told each class, they cheered and clapped and shared what they had learned about the disorder. We went on with our planned lesson, and at the end of the day one student came back holding a card her and the other students had made for me congratulating us:) How sweet!
We tried the conference call, but talked only to the birth father because the birth mother was held up in a Dr appointment. He asked all of her questions and said he'd pass our answers onto her. We planned another call for later that night at 6:30pm so we could talk to her. Oh the waiting!! So we sat nervously on our couch distracting ourselves with TV, and called into the conference line. Other people were using it, so I was confused. Then I get a call from our social worker saying that our answers were good enough for the birth mom and she didn't need to talk to us - we can go to Florida ASAP to get our son! Ahhhhh!
We immediately called Mikayl to tell her the good news. She was at a friends house and was in shock. She almost started crying at the news, and was so excited. She text me a little while later saying "I am so excited and stunned! :)" The next day, with the help of my Herriman girlfriends, we got baby bedding, painted the nursery, set up the crib, and cleaned my house! We were all on an adrenaline high! I thought Crystal was going to faint or something!
After not being able to fly out standby Friday night, we opted to buy one way tickets leaving Saturday. We arrived around midnight and were scheduled to meet our baby boy Sunday May 30th in the morning at 10am at the hospital. The birth parents wanted to introduce him to us and our social worker was there for the meeting. We walked into the NICU room to a baby butt with a dirty diaper change. The nurse said "What a way to make a first impression!" The first thing I noticed was his hair! He looked like a little boy, not a baby, and like someone had been "styling" it for him. So funny.
We had a most precious interaction with the birth parents. It was 2 couples in sincere gratitude for each others role in this situation. They loved their baby, and we loved him too. They carefully chose parents for him, visited him in the hospital, and tearfully held him as they handed him to us. Jefferson got to hold him first and couldn't stop staring. He was in love. We were warned not to worry if we didn't bond right away. It can happen, even with natural parents and children. But this was not the case here. We talked about it later over dinner how instantly we attached and knew he was meant to be ours. I can't believe that just about anyone can get pregnant and birth a child, but its a very small community of people that we now belong to that can say "a mother and father entrusted their child to us". I feel so honored by this gift that I can't even explain it.
So on to the heart condition and the hospital stay. We didn't even know there was a heart condition until just before we left Utah. We didn't even care really. After watching my hero Crystal go through her experience with her son Noah after he was born at only 25 weeks gestation, I knew I could handle just about anything. Watching that experience gave me strength. But Asher's heart condition is so odd and complex (rare) that the Dr's didn't know what to make of him. It ended up having to go to a committee!
With Tetralogy of Fallot (4 problems with the heart). having his Aorta grow in the opposite direction as most people, and his Down Syndrome tendencies, these made for a strange mix. Most TOF babies have "blue spells" or "Tet fits" where they literally turn blue because the blood doesn't flow correctly. Asher was a "pink" baby, had an open PDA (duct in the heart that usually closes in utero or a few days after birth) and NEVER had a blue spell. He ate, slept, and pooped wonderfully! So after hearing how wonderful he was doing, on Monday May 31st (Jefferson's Birthday- what a present!) the Dr's said his PDA closed, he remained "pink" so you can be discharged tomorrow! Yippee!!
The birth parents came back for a final goodbye visit, and we gave them their privacy to say goodbye. They each held him for about 30 min and hugged us as they left. All we could think of saying over and over again was "thank you, thank you." We were then discharged and left for the hotel. On June 1st, as we drove out of the hospital parking lot, Jefferson said "I can't believe it. They let us leave with a baby! Because he's our baby!" We waited patiently in the hotel for 2 days to hear from our social worker that we were allowed to leave the state. With out of state adoptions you have to provide paperwork and get approval from both the birth state & your home state. As we waited, we get a disturbing phone saying that a cardiologist is concerned that the PDA didn't close and wants us to come in for another echo cardiogram (a heart ultrasound). We never thought they'd readmit us. Never.
When they told us he had to get readmitted because "We made a mistake, there must have been a typo on the documents, or something. Sorry. Our bad." I was stunned. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I just hear the words "Our bad" from a Dr! So Jefferson ran back to the hotel and packed up everything, while I stayed in registration for almost an hour because we couldn't get readmitted until we registered. We had trouble getting registered because the poor boy has had 3 names already and they couldn't figure out which name to readmit him under! Oh my goodness. So, I'm still in shock, trying to call Ronald McDonald house to get free housing, and end up right back in the NICU with all of the familiar faces. The nurses and PA's felt so bad for us. It was a quiet day, not a full ward, so our PA Renee told us to check out the "Family Suites" around the corner. Same nurses and Dr's but its a larger room with a bathroom and a fold-a-bed so we could live with the baby in the hospital! It was free, kind of, and we never had to leave Asher's side. Hallelujah!
I'll be honest, my stunned feeling turned to frustration, then to anger pretty quickly. It was now Thurs June 3rd and apparently, many of the cardiologists were away at some conference and wouldn't be back until Monday morning June 7th to take this case to committee and decide how to get us home. "So what you're telling me is that my baby is healthy, never has had a blue spell, is getting readmitted because you made a mistake, all your Dr's are away for the next 4 days while we sit here getting monitored on the state of FL's tax dollars (Medicaid)? All because you're afraid that his PDA "might" close & he "might" have a blue spell? What? Just let us go home!" They said the altitude, pressure, and lack of oxygen in the airplane could close his PDA leading to a blue spell. So we sat around and lived in the hospital for 5 days.
Monday morning around 8am, one cardiologist does rounds and says we are free to go. The committee said the chance is extremely low that the airplane will be enough to affect his heart. Again I'm thinking "You couldn't have done this on a conference call or something 5 days ago?" So as we look for plane tickets yet again thinking we're heading home that same day, another cardiologist comes in and says he wants to put Asher on a heart medication to help slow down his heart rate which gives his blood more oxygen which will help his heart function better at high altitude. OK, but then he says we need to try 3 doses every 6 hrs to monitor his blood pressure making sure it doesn't get too low. OK, that meant "you're stuck here again until tomorrow morning." Ugh. He did great with the medicine though.
The ironic thing is that we didn't get the phone call until that same morning that FL and UT were allowing us to leave the state. So, it turns out we were stuck in FL until at least Monday anyway. But finally on Tues June 8th we headed out of the hospital, to the airport, and out of FL. The most stressful day we've ever had! We never flew with a newborn before, at least not with all the new TSA laws, and we had to feed Asher specifically on take off for both flights home to help him "suck" during altitude change. So we are sweating, sitting all huddled together on the plane, and I take the initiative of the 1st feeding. As we take off we're just praying and staring and holding our breath. He eats his bottle right on schedule, burps, falls asleep for the entire rest of the flight and no one even knows we have a baby on board! Whew!!!! He did the exact same thing on the next flight. Thank you LORD!
We arrive home around 8pm and are greeted by Mikayl and my mom and some blue balloons:) We hadn't seen Mikayl for 2 weeks and it was killing all of us! She was so glad we were home and finally got to meet her new brother. We then drove to Jefferson parent's house and visited for awhile. We got our dogs and headed home. My mom and Mikayl spent the night but we didn't get to bed until around midnight. Jefferson, the 2 dogs and Mikayl all passed out in our room while we were talking:) So cute.
Since we've been home now for 2 weeks, we've had 2 pediatrician appt's, 1 cardiology appt, and a head ultrasound to check on a mysterious spot (turned out to be nothing - just poor imaging from the FL hospital). He's gained weight since we've been home (now 7lb 4oz from the 6lb 9oz in FL) and is still very "pink" :)
Thank you for all of your prayers, phone calls, text & facebook messages, meals, gifts and visits! We are truly overwhelmed with blessings.
